May 4th, 2020

Time still goes by and I seem to never find the right path.
Starting to feel like it’s just me.
Like I’m not doing things right.
When will it just flow right?
I don’t think I can fight for it any longer.

Modular Design

"Summer, I miss you"

2014 edit

8x10

Lifeless vs Life

Bare skinned, the way we were all exposed to the universe.

Trapped inside my mind.

 No one to go to, nothing to free me.

Trapped in this universe where I don't think I belong.

Desperation grabs my throat as if I was sinking inside a body of water,

I can't escape and I can't understand why this is happening so fast.

Time isn't proving itself that it exists, although I'm here in flesh

I can't seem to prove I exist. 

Troubled mind that never understood the reasoning behind existence in this universe,
not until recently she discovered that all the clues that her life has exposed to her were
the pieces to the puzzle that will never go together. The lack of focus has to be one of the
main pieces. The lack of loyal companions (friends, partners & family) had to be another
main piece. But the sadness that layered on her like a veil, making her view a bit dim is a
piece that will never make sense to her.

Trapped inside the glass cube

Feelings swirling through my brain
Confusion, loneliness,  Do I have friends?
Does anyone know I'm still alive?
It's bittersweet, or at least it could be.
Right now it's just bitter.
The sweetness still lies there, kind of like a grenade.
When no one touches it it's just simply there, not reacting
But when someone grabs it and throws it, there's a huge explosion.
I want someone to grab and throw the sweetness.
It'll explode into something beautifully big.
Colors morphing into one another,
flowers blooming like fireworks rapidly expanding in the sky.
But now, I lay in the bitterness waiting for someone to throw this grenade.

  

Random thought

"Love me" I screamed, but only giggles came out.

From a garden of sprouting vibrant colors, to a dry sandy desert.

When will the rain come pouring down above us? 

I am thirsty for some flowers.

Waiting

Anxiety always eating me up,
It will continue happening until the day comes.
Until we are both running free around the mountains, feeling the rays on our bare skin after an icy swim in the creek.
Making music and singing sweet harmonies.
Teaching each other the comforts we both enjoy.
Becoming one under the shady trees and feeling so satisfied we burst out with laughter until our abs can't take it.
But for now the distance will make us wait and the months will seem longer.